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Name: Blade Man
Real Name: SJohn Jacob Jingleheimer Schmit
Sex: Male
Age: Unknown.
Hobbies: Collecting erotic playing cads, adult magazines, pornographic videos on VHS and hitting on ladies at the singles bars.
Likes: Pornography, cheap beer, and cheap rent
Dislikes: Rain, moving targets
Fav. Subject: Math.
Least Fav. Subject: Aquatics.
Dream: To one day get medical coverage, so he can purchase corrective glasses so one day he'll be able to hit something larger then the broad side of a barn.
Worst Fear: Actually hitting a target, and not being able to see that it's happened.
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Blade Man, much like the hubble Telescope, was sent into the field with faulty optical equipment, as such he can scarcely hit anything smaller then the hind end of an elephant with any reliability.
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Blade Man is a loner, unloved by anyone due to his randy personality, poor eye sight and offensive hygiene. |
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Blade Mas a little known cousin named Blade Man Unit Pi, who is one part of a dynamic team, which also includes The Bald Skater, a mysterious hero who can, empowered by his badlness, jam a basketball over his head like Michael Jordan, and mow his enemies down with his pelvic battering ram
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Blade Man actually has a world record for the longest stint of looking at pornography. Many people blame his poor eyesight on this questionable behavior. |
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He's the only robot master who can fluently speak Portuguese, but an opportunity to sue it has never really come up. |
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He has an intense Rivalry with Metal Man, shadow Man, and Quick Man, due to their mutual status as marskman armed with sharp implements. As such, they frequently gang up on Blade Man and beat the living daylights out of him, making his low self esteem even worse. |
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